As I was telling you yesterday, Chichi did a presentation at school on Mahatma Ghandi. So my new parenting technique is to refer to Ghandi about everything. For example, if Chichi say she doesn’t want to eat all her dinner my response is: “Well Ghandi would never waste food.” If she refuses to be nice to her brother, I say: “That is not peaceful.” Or, when she watched me get dressed this morning and did not bother to get out of bed, I said: “Mahatma Ghandi would never do that.” As I was over-using the Ghandi referrence, my husband was behind Chichi fake-gagging himself. My response to that: “Whatever works buddy!”
Peacemaker and the irony of it all… May 25, 2009
So yesterday I was trying to get the family rallied to talk on Skype. The kids were busy doing crafts and I thought we were golden. However, it all went south when they started pushing and shoving each other with scissors in their hands. We all know how that might have turned out, so I quickly hung up on the family and put each of the kids in time out. Lu was wailing like a stuck pig in the living room and Chichi was doing anything but, in her room. As a result of the bad behaviour, we agreed that neither I nor her father would attend her school presentation. That sent the sound meter off the charts.
We all decided that she could come up with an alternative punishment if she wanted to have us there at her presentation. So I asked her what alternative punishment she wanted. Her response? “Mahatma Ghandi”. Me: “Pardon…”
So it seems the presentation was all about peace. The children presented information about Mahatma Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr. They also presented “skits” which described how to deal with conflicts. The resolutions were to do rock-paper-scissors to mediate disagreements and to say sorry when you take something without asking. So I sat there watching the spectacle wondering again how it was that I live in a parallel universe. My daughter can give a speech about Mahatma Ghandi and act out non-violent conflict resolution but at the same time do nothing of the sort at home with her little bro.
Milestones… May 22, 2009
I almost fell off my chair the other day in the kitchen. I was eating dinner with my kids and Lu was using a knife and fork to eat his dinner. It was so cute and he was actually pushing his food onto his fork successfully. I was blown away by that because I did not imagine that 3 year olds would have that kind of coordination. When he wants to, he can be so grown-up and mature. Then there are times when he is still a baby. Today I woke him up to have a shower before school. When it was time to get out of the shower, he did not want to. So he started to howl. He was screaming that he wanted more water, more water. I left him to howl and he got himself out of the shower – which is no small feat. Then he proceeded to run around naked screaming more water, more water. So I weighed my options and decided I was not going to be able to win that battle, so I put him back in the shower and turned on the water. He stayed in for approximately 10 seconds and got more water. After that he was happy to get out. Go figure.
In other milestone news Chichi is doing a very nice job with reading. She can read in both English and Portuguese. There is not a book that she does not attempt to read in either language. She has her own “books” to read from school which are sent home every week to reinforce vocabulary. When she is reading her books, Lu is “reading” his. After Chichi has read her books, Lu wants to read his. When I start to read the books to Lu, Chichi insists on reading every other page. She is extremely motivated to read and I love that.
I really enjoy reading. I have read a couple of very good books lately. The first one was Are you somebody? which is a biography of an Irish writer. This woman led an extremely interesting life and her biography was also. Then I read The Gathering – a book about an Irish family. The book was so compelling I read it in one day when I was in Colombia. I was at a particularly sad part, balling my eyes out when one of my colleagues phoned to see what we were going to do that day. It was pretty weird, because she is a psychologist and thought I was going through something. I was, I guess! After that book I read The Way the Crow Flies. The story takes place in Canada during the 1960’s and it is set in a place that reminded me of the military base near where I grew up. It was based on a true story and I absolutely loved it. At the end there was an unbelievable twist which my mom would have probably figured out, but which I did not see coming. Right now I am reading one of my Christmas books The Flying Troutmans and it is wonderful. It is not overly well written, but it is engaging and fun to read.
Now we are three… May 19, 2009
Yesterday was Lu’s birthday and I told him the story of his birth. (Clearly I did not go into many details, but I told him the essential parts!) It is such a funny story and so different from Chiara’s birth, that it is worth noting here.
I was off work for more than a month, because all indicators suggested that he would be early. So we called my mother-in-law and she rushed down with my father-in-law and they started the camp-out at our place to wait for Lu. I busied myself with the preparations and doctor’s appointments. During my final doctor’s appointment after almost one month of waiting, I asked the doctor if it made sense to wait any longer. She said I could wait, but we were already at 40 weeks and that meant that I had to do a bunch of tests. I was so tired of all the tests and probes that I decided to give up on having a natural birth. I told the doctor to go ahead and schedule a C-section. She did. I had a hospital room reserved for me to do a C-section at 6 pm on May 18th.
Well, that was clearly not the plan that Lu had. He was with me on the natural birth idea. But, he waited until the VERY last moment to let me know! Things started early on the morning of May 18th and he was born at about 10:30 am. At the end of the day it was very smooth, but as in the case of Chichi, when things started to get going, they went very quickly. I don’t remember this, but my husband tells me that my doctor was chasing after me down the hall doing the two-step to put her shoes on as I was being wheeled into the OR. I, of course, was getting in touch with my tribal self (if you know what I mean) but to avoid any embarassment, I squeezed my eyes closed! Yeah – that whole natural birth thing they show on TV and in movies is SO not what it’s really like. There is absolutely no way to remain even remotely civilized. It is savage.
But, the great thing about a natural birth is that you are back to humanity so quickly afterwards. I was taken to my room after the ordeal, I took a shower, had lunch and then walked to the nursery. That was fantastic and surprisingly, the beast in me earlier vanished!
Difference between Canadians and Brazilians… May 12, 2009
In case you are wondering about the answer to the above question I can explain it very easily for you. Last week I ran out of coffee filters at home and did not have my morning cuppa. I stopped at a very nice bakery beside my son’s school to get one to go. I stood by the counter and the waiter came over and took my order. He told the woman working behind the counter to make me a large coffee with milk to go. It took her several tries to get the correct quantity of coffee in the cup. She filled the remaining space in the cup with hot milk. So the percentage of milk greatly outweighed that of the coffee. Then the real drama began. It took her ages to find a lid that fit on the take-out cup she poured my coffee into. She rooted around in the drawer under the espresso machine and pulled out various packages of lids. Apparently none of them fit really well, but the one that she finally chose would have to do.
That scene is in stark contrast to any coffee place I know of in Canada. There are a ton of different take-out cups, lids and sleeves to choose from at even the most ordinary coffee place. People as a general rule do not go to a bakery or coffee place to sit down. Usually they are rushing off somewhere and take their beverage and snack with them.
Typically Brazilians sit down to sip their coffee and eat a snack. There seems to be time for such an activity. In fact, some of the homemade snacks that are available throughout the day do not even exist in Canada.
Belated Mother’s Day wishes May 11, 2009
I wish I was an organized person and was able to keep up with dates, anniversaries and most importantly people’s feelings. I know that I should be able to care for all the people that matter to me, but for some reason, it is just not always possible. I apologize for getting my Mother’s Day post up so late.
Being a mother makes Mother’s Day a little different. Before you become a mother, you want to salute yours because you love her and she is special. I think that until you are a mother yourself, you have no idea how hard it is. There are a million reasons why it is hard and a million other things that make it so. Sometimes we take our mothers for granted and believe that unconditional love is in their DNA. It is not. Sometimes it is a struggle to deal with our children. There is not always support for mothers from family or friends. It can be lonely even. For these reasons I want to salute some very special moms in my inner circle.
First I have to take my hat off to my own mom. She lives in a parallel organized universe to which she did not give me the key. Her attention to detail and organization completely baffle me. She always knows how to choose details for gifts and receptions for us and others that blow me away. My mom is a very gracious host and an extremely generous person. She taught me the value of remembering that we are here because others have helped us get where we are. There is no one in my mom’s church that she has not baked for, or entertained. She is constantly opening her home and her heart to new friends and old. My mom is an excellent friend, wife, mother and grandmother and I love her for all of her great qualities.
Secondly, there is my grandmother. She is an amazing person. At 80-something she has less memory loss than I do. She knows what all her children, grandkids and great-grandkids are up to all the time. Not only is she able to remember what all of them are doing, she is interested and cares. I love that she is an avid walker, reader and cross-worder! She is a role model and I cherish her for being that to so many of us.
Thirdly, there is my dear friend here at work. She is much more than a colleague and friend – she is a member of the family. I love the fact that motherhood the third time around changed her in such a beautiful way – she became complete. It was one of the most amazing personal transformations I have had the privilege to witness and it really makes me get all misty-eyed to think about how one person can really embody the word “mother” so completely.
Finally I have to mention my sister-in-law. She “mothers” so many people in her immediate and extended family that she really deserves to be honoured on Mother’s Day. It seems to me that there are certain people who are born with the “motherhood gene” and she is living proof. Motherhood is what makes her tick and what she exudes. I really try to listen to her well because I have so much respect for someone that cares for so many.
I love being a mom and I love my kids, but for me motherhood is a work in progress. To me it is like a huge editing job – a tweak here, an adjustment there. Most of the time I feel like I am not doing a bang-up job, but I keep stumbling and bumbling on. From what I hear, that is all part of being a mother too. Happy Mother’s Day to all of us – mothers and children alike!
Power of music April 30, 2009
I sing in a choir and I love it! I don’t care if it seems like a nerdy hobby to have. I absolutely adore it and wouldn’t dream of giving it up. I stopped when both my kids were very little and went back to it when they were old enough to stay at home with their Dad. We sing popular music in different languages and harmonies. But, there is nothing like singing a song in English that has a familiar type of melody and harmony. It makes me get goosebumps or tears when I am singing. One of those songs is “I shall not live in vain” based on an Emily Dickinson poem. It is absolutely gorgeous.
The musical aspect of the choir is really important to me, but so are the people. One of my favourite friends is in the choir and her hubby is the prima donna, I mean leader, of the choir. We make good music and friendships. In fact, when we go out after a concert, we sing in the restaurants. Last Sunday we had a concert and after we went out for pizza. My childhood friend was here and he was blown away by all of us sitting around the table singing. It really is a little peculiar and certainly something to see. He loved it though and hid his embarrassment well behind his camera. Have you ever tried that? I recommend it.
Music can fulfill all kinds of purposes obviously. Right now I am listening to Norah Jones and that really just fits the “feel-good” factor. It makes me sit and work in a really relaxed atmosphere. I also really can get into Michael Bublé and songs like Home. Granted this music is maybe a bit sappy or shlocky, but it takes me to a good place and I think that is what it is supposed to do.
My heroes… April 28, 2009
Well now it is official.
My brother finished the London Marathon and the results of the race are posted above. I am so proud of him and this accomplishment. He is an inspiration – training for the marathon and triathlons.
Another person who falls under the heading above is the friend I was telling you about in the Spring Break post. He has had more than his share of stuff to deal during his life and he is such a blessing. I mean that he can always see the bright side of life and the people in it. He is extremely supportive and approaches life with such grace.
I cannot fail to mention my husband in this category. Again, he is a person who has come face to face with serious issues and rather than cry, he decided to find a way to work around his limitations. He is always looking for a challenge.
I am so lucky to know these guys and I strive to be more like them – determined, graceful and courageous!
Spring Break April 27, 2009
We have just come back from Spring Break and I was lucky to have a childhood friend visit us. It was such fun showing him the beautiful beaches on the coast. We spent a day at the beach and hiked down to one where we were the only ones there for most of the time. That was amazing! We spent my birthday on a schooner in the bay and it was also fabulous. There were about 24 other people on the ship and they were really friendly. They helped take care of Lu on one of the beaches and were interested in helping Chichi when she was swimming with the fish. On the last day we went to a waterfall and then drove home. The kids were going crazy in the car on the way home because we drove straight there. The four hour drive was fine for the first two hours and horrible for the last 2 hours. When we got back we showed my friend what we do on the weekends and he really enjoyed “living our life”. I took him to see our choir sing last night and we went out after to eat pizza. As is the custom, everyone sat around the table and sang – that was hilarious.
I really appreciated having my friend here. I have known him since we were in grade nine. Obviously a lot has happened since then, but over the years we have not lost touch. And the interesting thing is that we did not just get caught up again after finding each other on facebook or myspace!
He is a very special person and I really enjoyed talking to him over the last few days. There was not a moment that we didn’t have something to say. That is true friendship!
What is the importance of April 21st… April 21, 2009
Well, today is a holiday here and we asked our students to look up the reason behind the holiday. Since I knew that everyone would be able to do research and tell us what the holiday signified, I decided to talk about what it means to me personally.
It is my father’s birthday. That may not seem all that significant in itself to you, but my birthday is just 2 days after my father’s birthday. I have always felt it is very special that my birthday and my father’s are so close together. I have always been close to my Dad and as I was growing up I was always told that I looked a lot like him. To me that always seemed a little weird – why did I have to look like a man? But now as an adult I can perceive that these similarities are actually very special.
I live very far away from my Mom and Dad, but I still try to be close to them. I think about them every day and they are the real guides in my life. That is something that never changes regardless of our age. For all these reasons, April 21st is a special day for me.
Happy Birthday Dad…
