How do their minds work? October 29, 2008

Have you ever stopped to wonder how a child’s mind works? If not, then let me offer some reasons why it might be interesting to do so.

1. Chichi has a ritual at lunch that she performs every time she sees me in the cantina. She runs headlong towards me with her arms flapping bird-like to give me – are you ready for this? – her dirty Tupperware. Yesterday I was walking up from the cantina with a friend and Chichi desperately shouted at me to wait for her, so she could give me a hug (well that too) but the main reason was to hand off her dirty Tupperware. What is going on in her mind that she has to give you her dirty Tupperware, my friend asked.
2. Today Chichi wanted to know why the playground at our school was so beautiful – was it so we could compete with other schools? So we asked the Elementary Principal and frankly she was a little thrown by the question. Apparently the playground is set up for children to be safe and to be able to learn!
3. The day before Chichi had taken a few stones that her grandfather had collected and polished back in the ’70’s. She thought they were so beautiful that she should show them to her friends. So she put them in her pocket and went off to school. When she got home I asked her about the stones. She said she had shown them to one friend and the school psychologist whom she classified as “almost Mrs. G**cia” in other words, almost the Elementary Principal.

It definitely makes you wonder.

Lu on the other hand likes to pepper his conversations with things that other people have said to him, or actual exchanges he´s had with people. For example, out of the blue he might say something that roughly translates as “Daddy’s going to phone in a minute, right?” or “Tia Manu, Lu wants Mommy”. Until you can decipher the words, put the conversation into context and figure it all out, he has said it about 6 or 7 time each with a successive volume increase. Yesterday we were in the car and he asked me a question. He wasn’t happy with my answer, so he asked again and again and again and again and again until I changed my answer. At that point he asked why.

Toys and mess… October 27, 2008

The two go hand in hand, right?

Toys obviously are what children use to make messes, to avoid cleaning them up and to distract themselves in the middle of one. I remember like it was yesterday when messes were created at my parents’ house. My brother and I had a fairly large closet in the basement that was full of toys. It had doors on it which were handy for hiding the toy mess inside. There were times when guests would come over and we would take out all the toys in the closet. We said it was to play with them, but really it was just to make a (you know). So that was the fun part of it – the nasty bit happened when there were deadbeat guests who scooted out the door before the toy mess was back behind closed doors. This of course was something that my own parents never allowed. We were always excellent house guests. We never left a house without putting the toy mess in its rightful place. So I remembered being really ticked off by guests who left mess behind – my brother and I stomped around huffing and puffing, while we put all the toys back. Some things never change. I try to make my kids clean up the toys at other people’s houses, but I must admit that sometimes I bolt before I can get them to do that. At my own house however, I get irritated by anyone who deeks out early on the cleanup. How can that be, right?

My own children are not that good at putting their toys away, although they are getting better. Lu takes the lead on that one. He will put away shoes left anywhere that someone took them off and he will pick up various other toys and throw them back into their box. We have a little space under the stairs for their toys and we recently cleaned it out by putting a lot of the toys up in the attic. Now each kid has 2 boxes of toys only. They can now get in the space and use it as a micro-playroom. Chichi was happy about the “new” space and so was Lu. However, she expressed it in words. After seeing all the toys out of the bathtub too, she said: “Mommy, this looks so much better. This is so much better. The toys are so much better. Our life is so much better. The only bad thing is that Lu, Daddy and I still have colds.” It was all I could do not to just completely bust up laughing.

This goes to show that a little goes a long way in terms of toys and that purging is something liberating for children too.

Sports October 25, 2008

Being a teacher I always thought that there was too much emphasis in kid´s lives on sports. It seemed like my students were always missing class because of some game or another. Nowadays that happens a lot less, but we still think there is greater importance given to sports. That´s what I thought before I had kids. I now see it is a much more complex thing. I encourage my kids to play sports – I want them to be active and I want them to get outside. Chichi is taking tennis lessons and doing gymnastics. Lu is too little still for anything organized but he really loves playing with balls. In fact, his favorite toy by a long shot is a ball. So the question then is how can you strike a balance? Well, like anything that has to do with kids, it is trial and error. At one point we had Chichi signed up for tennis on Monday and Friday, gymnastics on Tuesday and Thursday and soccer on Saturday. That was clearly too much. So I decided not to take her to soccer anymore. The lessons started at 9:00am and frankly for any family that is out the door before 7:15am during the week – 9:00am on a Saturday is just far too early. One day I took her to the lessons quite late and she did not want to participate because she was embarrassed about being so late. At this point I realized that we just could not continue with this sport at this time – here I was trying to force her to play just because I had schlepped everyone over to the club early on a Saturday morning. Hmmm…. That is clearly not the reason why I want her in sports. So I took everyone back home and we just hung out. At that point her future in professional soccer was clearly put in jeopardy, but I think I may be able to get over that guilt – after all, she still has a chance in tennis and gymnastics, right?

My favourite appliance October 20, 2008

It really was just a matter of time before I dedicated a post to my mini vac. Why you might ask? Let me tell you.

It goes like this:

Dad breaks a plate, sweeps up said plate remains and leaves plenty of evidence of the carnage behind.

Mom does a CSI-like investigation and demands removal of said evidence .

Who better to do the cleanup than the children? (yes! – plural)

Daughter goes up to fetch the handy vac with little sibling.

Daughter starts to remove evidence from the scene under the careful guidance of little bro.

Little bro stands around, points and yells: “Over here, there’s a whole bunch over here!!”

Daughter dutifully sucks it up.

Yup, domestic bliss!

One post you’re never going to see – ode to the Barbie dishwasher – need I say more?

Age and Stage revisited October 17, 2008

I want to go back and re-visit my previous entry about age and stage. Lu is fixated on the word “why” and the moment and I have to include the word that is uppermost in Chichi’s mind (or mouth). The word is jabuticaba. It is pronounced something like this: ja – boo – chee – ka – ba. It is a little round, black fruit that grows on the bark of trees. It has a white meaty inside with a small black pit. It is somewhat sweet, but like a plum the skin makes it a little bitter.

 

Anyway, Chichi has taken to calling anyone and anything jabuticaba. Our conversation on the way back from gymnastics last night is an example:

Me: “What is that girl’s name?”

Chichi: jabuticaba

Me: “Ah, okay. Come on let’s go get Daddy.”

Chichi: “Wait I have to get Lu’s jabuticaba” (trans. soccer ball)

Me: “Where is Daddy?”

Chichi: “Playing jabuticaba.” (trans. tennis)

Me: “Oh, there he is way down there with Zé, Gustavo and…”

Chichi interjects: “jabuticaba” (trans. Fernando)

Me: “Ri-iight.”

I think you get the picture. It is a word that must be something like cornucopia in English. I remember learning the word a few years ago in public school and I remember how it was sort of delicious to say. It was fascinating to imagine all that stuff flowing out of it at the first Thanksgivings and just the fact that I could pronounce such a word was a real triumph. I can relate to Chichi’s overuse of jabuticaba.

Age and Stage October 16, 2008

So Chichi and Lu are clearly at different stages in their young lives. She is going to be 7 and he will be 3. (Crazy how fast time flies!) So she is starting to read, learning to spell

This week

, doing adding and subtracting, and he is trying to learn how to do his business on the toilet. This age difference makes for funny situations. One such situation happened the other day when we were on our way to school in the morning. We leave home together and I drop off Lu first at his school at 7:30 am and then Chichi and I head on. Our route rarely changes, but the funny thing is that the other day I mistakenly headed the wrong way and Lu said: “Scola Yuyu, mamae?” which means Lu’s school Mommy? at which point I realized I had made a wrong turn and was not headed for his school. I thought it was pretty crazy that he noticed and so I quickly turned around and drove to his school. A few days later we were on the way to school again and Chichi requested that we take a different route. Apparently for her it is boring to always go the same way. She is constantly asking me to take alternate routes. The other day we were coming back from the club and there was a huge traffic jam so I changed our route to avoid the jam. Chichi was, in a word, ECSTATIC! So, as we were on our NEW way to Lu’s school the other day, he started to ask WHY. That is something that happens with two year olds obviously, but here is how it shakes down. Lu started out by asking if we were going to his school since we were on our NEW way.

I said: “We are going a new way for a change.”

He said: “Why?”

I said: “Because it’s nice to go a new way.”

He said: “Why?”

I said: “Because new is nice.”

He said: “Why?”

I said: “Because it’s good to change.”

He said: “Why?”

I said: “Because that’s what life is all about.”

He said: “Why?”

At this point we were no where near Lu’s school and it sounded like the interrogation session was never going to end, so Chichi tried to come to my rescue and she offered up a few reasons. However, the reasons she offered up elicited the same response from him. The only way we got him to stop was deeking him out by saying there was a dog or something out the window. We always did that when he was little and was bawling his head off in the car. Surprisingly it works!

The situation repeated itself with .Daddy on the way home from school. Lu asked him who was at home. Each time he mentioned a name, Lu asked who else. It got to the point that Dinho had mentioned all the people, pets, birds, butterflies, and insects that may have at one point graced our property! Funny, no? He did the same thing with me on the way home from school today! As I mentioned, he is definitely at that age and stage!

Happy Thanksgiving October 13, 2008

Top Five Reasons why CANADIAN Thanksgiving is better

• It is not close to Christmas and does not signal the start of the shopping season – phew!
• There is no sweet potato casserole with marshmallows on top or string bean casserole with dried onions – talk about a good way to make sweet potato and beans bad…
• It means there may be soccer or another sport played outside in the midst of those beautiful fall colours rather than on TV…
• Pumpkin pie has coconut in it and any cooked root vegetables are typically covered in maple syrup!
• Since Thanksgiving actually starts on Sunday, you tend to think more about the REAL meaning of the holiday.

 

I remember Thanksgivings held at my parents’ house where the tables snake from the dining room into the living room and there is always a ton of food – all good. (Not like the New Years Day where everyone decided to bring bean casserole.)

One particular Thanksgiving we had a soccer game on our front lawn. I went out to play with the boys and managed to thump into one of the boys. Well, I have yet to live that down. I mentioned to an uncle once that Chichi loved soccer and was sort of a tomboy, his response was something like: “well, that’s not surprising given her mother.” Hmmm… there are certain embarrassing moments that are better left in the past. I so rarely think of myself as thumper these days that it really takes me right back to the awkwardness of adolescence. (Even though I am surrounded by those who are still in the throes of adolescence and all its accompanying awkwardness daily – what makes me happy is that it passes – I see that daily too! But, what scares the heck out of me is that sooner than later I am going to be the parent of an adolescent – AWWW!!)

The frightening thing is that no matter how far we think we may have progressed from awkwardness, in some people’s eyes we are still the hapless adolescent of many years ago.

So what’s the point? October 11, 2008

Well, I thought that it might be nice to keep track of all the amusing things that happen in my life.  It may not be the most poetic, insightful or well-written blog out there – but I think it may serve another purpose: to record incidents in my life with my kids that often make really great stories.  Here’s an example:

I told you earlier that I was on a trip for the last 3 days.  As I was leaving school on Wednesday, Chichi decided to leave a couple of post-it notes on my luggage so I definitely would not miss them!  You may be able to guess what one note had on it – a heart.  Ah… well, the other ones were a request for yet another Children’s Day

(more on that later!) present.  Now that may not seem strange coming from a 6 year old – after all it really is about the loot.  When her father is away on a trip and she talks to him on the phone, conversations typically go like this:

“Hi Daddy!”

“Hi Chichi!”

“Did you buy me a present?”

interjection from me in the background: “Chichi ask him how the trip is going!”

“So Daddy – did you get me a present?”

“Yes I did.  How are you?  How is Lu?  What are you doing?”

At this point she is satisfied that there is a present on the way, so why bother talking any more!

“Nothing – bye.”

Anyone who has been on the phone or MSN with Chichi knows that especially when I am around she is not very chatty.

Anyway, back to the notes… the other ones said that she wants another Children’s Day present.  Before I went on my trip we all went to get prezzies for Lu and Chichi.  We decided to get them both navy blue Converse All-stars.  It is so cute – we all have a pair.  Ah… So we gave them both their shoes on Monday before I went on the trip.  But, Chichi let me know on Tuesday that she needed another present for Children’s Day.  The shoes were not going to cut it, not because they are shoes rather than a toy, but because it was not fair.  Since all the other kids had to wait until Sunday to get their presents, it was not fair that she got hers before they did.  So that meant that she really needed another present for Sunday.  I mean think about the justice in it, if other kids did not get their presents beforehand, it was somehow not a present.  What kind of logic is that?

Now the explanation for Children’s Day: It is a celebration of children – hence the name – but since we are at least a century away from the Industrial Revolution, it seems, at the very least, a bit odd.  I mean, for most of us, every day is children’s day.  Once you get to be a parent it really no longer is about you, it is all about them.  Maybe that is the reason that we do celebrate them or maybe it is another way to maximize shopping days at toy stores.  You decide!

I guess the main point here still is… my daughter left me notes on my luggage before my trip – ah! – leave off the bit about the conspicuous consumption – some details are better left out.

Creepy anecdote about Children’s Day:  When we got to the school in Bahia it was all decorated for Children’s Day.  There were balloons, candies and pieces of fabric arranged around the front of the school like a HUGE party.  When we walked in we were greeted by two very short dressed up creatures – I have no idea what they were supposed to be.  Anyway, I said hello to one and he responded in a very deep adult voice.  When we all figured out that they were not children, it just didn’t seem right at a school.  Doesn’t that seem rather exploitative?  I didn’t get it – prefer not to think about it really.

A wacky anecdote about Children’s Day:  One of the girls on my team decided to dress up as a cat for the tournament on Friday.  At the school it was funny and innocuous enough not to bother me, but in the ariport she made an enormous amount of heads turn.  If you’ve ever seen dramatic chipmunk on youtube - you know what people’s reactions were – we’re not talking a casual glance in the girl’s direction, we’re talking a full-stop 180 turn quick enough to result in whiplash – a la dramatic chipmunk!

And so it goes… October 11, 2008

Here’s the thing – I just spent 3 days away from my kids and husband. I was travelling with the KB team (remember Reach for the TOP?)  It was hot, fun – mostly! – and in general it was good. But, it was way too quiet. I get annoyed with my kids when they are yelling at me from either side, the TV is on and my husband is also trying to get my attention. However, try staying in a rather dingy, smelly hotel for two nights alone. There is no one to call out to you in the middle of the night for a hug. There is no one to wake up and kiss in the morning and I missed my kids so much. It was crazy. I was gone for 3 days and it was such a relief to get back late last night and see them sleeping in their beds. In fact when I went into their room, Chichi was on Lu’s bed and that was funny since he has a small toddler’s bed. I kissed them both and he woke up to hug me and then I put him back down to sleep. They did fine on their own, but they missed me too. It is nice to get away, but there is nothing like coming home – all the little annoyances and aggravations - “poof”!