Peacemaker and the irony of it all… May 25, 2009

So yesterday I was trying to get the family rallied to talk on Skype. The kids were busy doing crafts and I thought we were golden. However, it all went south when they started pushing and shoving each other with scissors in their hands. We all know how that might have turned out, so I quickly hung up on the family and put each of the kids in time out. Lu was wailing like a stuck pig in the living room and Chichi was doing anything but, in her room. As a result of the bad behaviour, we agreed that neither I nor her father would attend her school presentation. That sent the sound meter off the charts.

We all decided that she could come up with an alternative punishment if she wanted to have us there at her presentation. So I asked her what alternative punishment she wanted. Her response? “Mahatma Ghandi”. Me: “Pardon…”

So it seems the presentation was all about peace. The children presented information about Mahatma Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr. They also presented “skits” which described how to deal with conflicts. The resolutions were to do rock-paper-scissors to mediate disagreements and to say sorry when you take something without asking. So I sat there watching the spectacle wondering again how it was that I live in a parallel universe. My daughter can give a speech about Mahatma Ghandi and act out non-violent conflict resolution but at the same time do nothing of the sort at home with her little bro.

Milestones… May 22, 2009

I almost fell off my chair the other day in the kitchen. I was eating dinner with my kids and Lu was using a knife and fork to eat his dinner. It was so cute and he was actually pushing his food onto his fork successfully. I was blown away by that because I did not imagine that 3 year olds would have that kind of coordination. When he wants to, he can be so grown-up and mature. Then there are times when he is still a baby. Today I woke him up to have a shower before school. When it was time to get out of the shower, he did not want to. So he started to howl. He was screaming that he wanted more water, more water. I left him to howl and he got himself out of the shower – which is no small feat. Then he proceeded to run around naked screaming more water, more water. So I weighed my options and decided I was not going to be able to win that battle, so I put him back in the shower and turned on the water. He stayed in for approximately 10 seconds and got more water. After that he was happy to get out. Go figure.

In other milestone news Chichi is doing a very nice job with reading. She can read in both English and Portuguese. There is not a book that she does not attempt to read in either language. She has her own “books” to read from school which are sent home every week to reinforce vocabulary. When she is reading her books, Lu is “reading” his. After Chichi has read her books, Lu wants to read his. When I start to read the books to Lu, Chichi insists on reading every other page. She is extremely motivated to read and I love that.

I really enjoy reading. I have read a couple of very good books lately. The first one was Are you somebody? which is a biography of an Irish writer. This woman led an extremely interesting life and her biography was also. Then I read The Gathering – a book about an Irish family. The book was so compelling I read it in one day when I was in Colombia. I was at a particularly sad part, balling my eyes out when one of my colleagues phoned to see what we were going to do that day. It was pretty weird, because she is a psychologist and thought I was going through something. I was, I guess! After that book I read The Way the Crow Flies. The story takes place in Canada during the 1960’s and it is set in a place that reminded me of the military base near where I grew up. It was based on a true story and I absolutely loved it. At the end there was an unbelievable twist which my mom would have probably figured out, but which I did not see coming. Right now I am reading one of my Christmas books The Flying Troutmans and it is wonderful. It is not overly well written, but it is engaging and fun to read.

Now we are three… May 19, 2009

Yesterday was Lu’s birthday and I told him the story of his birth. (Clearly I did not go into many details, but I told him the essential parts!) It is such a funny story and so different from Chiara’s birth, that it is worth noting here.

I was off work for more than a month, because all indicators suggested that he would be early. So we called my mother-in-law and she rushed down with my father-in-law and they started the camp-out at our place to wait for Lu. I busied myself with the preparations and doctor’s appointments. During my final doctor’s appointment after almost one month of waiting, I asked the doctor if it made sense to wait any longer. She said I could wait, but we were already at 40 weeks and that meant that I had to do a bunch of tests. I was so tired of all the tests and probes that I decided to give up on having a natural birth. I told the doctor to go ahead and schedule a C-section. She did. I had a hospital room reserved for me to do a C-section at 6 pm on May 18th.

Well, that was clearly not the plan that Lu had. He was with me on the natural birth idea. But, he waited until the VERY last moment to let me know! Things started early on the morning of May 18th and he was born at about 10:30 am. At the end of the day it was very smooth, but as in the case of Chichi, when things started to get going, they went very quickly. I don’t remember this, but my husband tells me that my doctor was chasing after me down the hall doing the two-step to put her shoes on as I was being wheeled into the OR. I, of course, was getting in touch with my tribal self (if you know what I mean) but to avoid any embarassment, I squeezed my eyes closed! Yeah – that whole natural birth thing they show on TV and in movies is SO not what it’s really like. There is absolutely no way to remain even remotely civilized. It is savage.

But, the great thing about a natural birth is that you are back to humanity so quickly afterwards. I was taken to my room after the ordeal, I took a shower, had lunch and then walked to the nursery. That was fantastic and surprisingly, the beast in me earlier vanished!

Growing up… April 18, 2009

I remember when Chichi was a baby and I had just come back from my Mat Leave and one of my colleagues was commenting that soon she would be studying at our school. I thought that day would take such a long time to arrive. Well, it didn’t. She is now out of pre-school and my son is entering. We had to schedule the day for him to come and take the pre-test. (I hope he passes and is accepted!) Actually, there is no way he will not pass. I guess in the worst-case scenario he will be asked to wait a year. (That won’t happen though, at least I don’t think it will.) I was asked to fill out a form describing his habits and personality. That was pretty interesting because he is a talkative, social, sweet boy. He loves his sister to such an extent that he wants to do everything she does. He plays with her and her friends and seems to treat them as if they were his friends. He made friends at his own school and talks about Dudu a lot. I don’t know him, but this Dudu character must be quite something! So it will be interesting to see how Lu manages in the Montessori classroom since it is so different from what he is used to. I remember the day that Chichi did her test as if it were yesterday. She had on these really cute red capris and a matching light blue cross-over top with flowers on it that my mom had given her. (All her cute clothes were given by grandma!) She was also wearing the giraffe backpack that she had received from her grandpa and she just looked so ready to start school. I remember watching her leave and getting all teared up when she went off to do her test class. I was so full of pride and expectations for her as was her father. I am sure it will be the same for Lu, except for the fact that we as parents are so much more relaxed with the second child. I always thought I would be a relaxed parent, but I am not. I have no idea how to be more relaxed either, if you want to know the truth. It comes down to the idea of caring I think. There is always going to be something going on with them that I care about, be it something I want to follow because I am very interested or because I am very concerned. I think it is somewhat of a teeter-totter: sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. It reminds me of Go Dog Go. “The blue dog is up, the red dog is down”. There is no purple dog in the middle.

Young love or older “sibs” as role models… April 7, 2009

I took Lu to the final futsal (indoor soccer) game at our school last Friday. We were seated next to one of my colleagues and she was intrigued with how Lu was in what appeared to be a catatonic state. She tried to get him to talk to her and he was having none of it. In fact, he barely moved until three-quarters of the way through the second period. Well, she asked him who his girlfriend was, which is a bit of an odd question to ask a 2 year-old, but she wanted to provoke him into answering. He answered: “Yaiya” To which she said: “Yaiya? Isn’t she your sister?” He shook his head yes and then she said something like: “Oh okay.” And then to me she said: “They normally say their mom.” I thought that was cute, but I was not offended that I am not my son’s girlfriend. For the longest time Chichi said she was going to marry him, so it’s good that he feels the same way about her. In fact he loves her so much that he wants to do everything she does. When I say everything I am not exaggerating that much. For example, she takes 3 bags or backpacks to school. One for snack, one for lunch and one to hold everything. He started doing the exact same thing – taking a larger backpack with 2 smaller ones inside. However, his teacher put the kaibosh on that because it was too heavy for her to carry. He has started to put his clothes out to wear the next day like she does the night before and just as she does, he changes his mind about them in the morning. He also wants to eat, drink, slurp and chew everything she does, when she does – even if he is not hungry, thirsty or in the mood for ice cream or gum. The other night he took the copying a little too far and could not hold all that food in his little stomach, if you know what I mean. I wasn’t there but I was trying to recreate the scene because my husband has an extremely weak stomach himself. I dare not try to imagine how that one was resolved!

It really is cute to see how they interact with each other when they do it nicely. She helps him to do things and she will take him to his Sunday school class and guide him here or there. He always plays with her and her friends when we are at the club and they seem to be happy to play with him too. He is a huge fan of High School Musical too and asks for it to be played in the car when we dare put on other music. (He has not committed all the words of every song on the latest CD to memory like she has, but it may come soon.) Now if we could just get her to make him eat salad and tomatoes…

Proud Mama March 17, 2009

I guess there is no reason why we are not allowed to brag a little about our kids on our blogs, right?  Even if the answer is no, I am going to anyway!

Chichi did a painting of a cat in art class, as did the rest of the first grade.  However, hers is placed right near the door to the library in a position of honour.  I was so surprised and pleased that I got all teared up when I saw it yesterday.  I phoned my husband and he and Chichi went to see it after school.  She and I went to look at it today and we checked out all the other kids’ paintings too.  She seemed quite proud and I know I sure was!  I was also really proud of her the other day when she was doing her nightly reading.  She has started reading at night with her Dad in Portuguese and I am surprised at how well she is doing.  She can read most of the books that we have for her in Portuguese and she seems to becoming more fluent in her reading.  However, I was thrilled the other night when I read one page of “Go Dog Go” and she read the other.  We did the same last night for the Curious George original story.  When Lu wanted me to read and sing Itsy, Bitsy Spider to him, Chichi wanted to read “Green Eggs and Ham”.  I told her no, and so she went ahead and read it on her own.  She was reading it to herself, but it sounded like she was really able to read it on her own.  I was so happy about that.

In other developmental milestones, Lu went through last night diaper- and accident-free!

In further developmental milestone delays, Chichi and Lu started going to sleep on their own last Friday.  However, they both ended up in our bed at some point during the night.  The update on that:  they have been in their beds ever since.  That my friends is only about 3 years late!

Wowsers… March 12, 2009

I’m not sure if I have been lazy, busy or a bit of both. One thing is for certain – my blog has been left behind. So here’s what’s been going on. I was away last week with some students and I am off again next week for a conference. (That in itself has meant that life has been busy, not to mention all the other things I do.) At the conference I am going to be presenting a case study on blogs and so I had my students create their own blogs today. It was interesting to see their enthusiasm and think about all the great things they will write in their blogs. The nice part about this blog is that it really is not about me, but my kids. They are doing well and are as funny as ever. Chichi received her first award at a school assembly the other day which really seemed to perplex her. I found out from someone else and asked her about it. She really had no idea what it was for and why she got it. As it turns out it is for helping and learning from others, which is a huge step forward for her. I was so happy for her. Chichi has also been writing notes to the family about what food is hers in the refrigerator and I am including one of those notes here:  

In case you are not fluent in 7 year old language, let me explain this to you.  It is a mixture of Portuguese and English and is sort of a “Portuguized” version of an English word.  It is referring to Chiara’s school snack.  It is very creative spelling to say the least and closer to how you would say the English word in Portuguese.  My husband was rather surprised and I must say I was pretty perplexed by the note that greeted me first thing in the morning!

 

On the other hand, Lu has taken to referring to himself only in the 3^rd person which is a riot. He has also started to really procrastinate on eating and now wants to be spoon-fed again, which is a pain. He doesn’t eat within a reasonable amount of time and wants everything put in the refrigerator afterwards. In fact, this morning he pulled out his bread from yesterday afternoon and ate it, exclaiming: “How delicious!” He even got me to try a bite. It was not bad, but I definitely have had better. Our dog Brownie had an eating adventure the other day too. Someone accidentally left the door open and he sneaked into the house and slept on the couch. He also polished off the rest of a panetone cake and even managed to get the clip off and open the bag. What a mess that was!

So everything is pretty much the same as always except that I am trying to be more organized. I will tell you if I am successful after I get to my conference. Let’s just say that I had to do a teeny-weeny bit of scrambling to get ready for last week’s trip. That reminds me. How do you spell diddly squat?

Kids say AND DO the darndest things… February 6, 2009

I am not sure who said this originally, but it sure is true. Case in point: Lu asking about life on the moon the other day. However, yesterday we were at the club to celebrate Chichi’s birthday and someone was playing live music in the restaurant. I kid you not when I say that Lu was rockin’ out to the music. It was so hilarious. He was sort of shaking his head to the beat with his eyes half open while batting his hands on his chest. It was just hysterical. When everyone clapped after each song, Lu was adamant that we all clapped too. It was too funny.

I want to say that I have a funny story to tell about Chichi, but I cannot think of one at the moment. It is funny, when I started to write this blog millions of stories and anecdotes were constantly popping into my head. Since I’ve been such blog slug lately those stories haven’t been coming to me as easily as they once did. If you ever talk to yourself – you know what I mean. I have very elaborate conversations with myself in my head. So when I am in the middle of one of these conversations, I then think to myself that I need to remember it to put it in the blog. I will start that habit again shortly!

Seven years ago today… February 5, 2009

Today is my daughter´s birthday.  She is seven years old.  It is really pretty hard to believe.  I was making a presentation about her life to be shown in her classroom and it is surprising how she now looks like such a girl.  She is no longer a baby or a toddler.  She is not even chubby-faced anymore.  Sometimes when I look at her she takes my breath away, other times it is because I am starting to get overheated at something she has not done or done to her brother.

I remember the day she was born very clearly.  I was 100% unprepared for the birth and that whole process.  I was just told not to go to the hospital too early.  As it turns out, we almost did not make it to the hospital.  We put the car in the car park and she was born 45 minutes later.  In fact, it was a bit of a miracle that we were able to get my doctor on the phone and over to the hospital on time.  Anyway, the big news of this memory is that when Chichi was first born and screaming a lot, the nurses put her on my chest very close to my face.  At that point I stroked her forehead and said Mommy´s here.  She stopped screaming immediately when she heard me speak.  Her reaction to my voice was one of the most powerful moments in my life and one I am never going to forget. 

I love telling my daughter the story of her birth day.  It is such a beautiful first line.

What is the first line in yours?  Apparently mine had something to do with an absent parent and a Montreal Canadians game.  I am not sure if it is fact or fiction, but it most certainly is the start of a great story.

 

Simple or Stressful December 10, 2008

The question is not whether the 2 are mutually exclusive or on a continuum, but rather how can something so simple, become so stressful. Let’s see if you’re with me on this.

• Scenario one: I set my alarm for 6am to give me enough time to get ready and get everyone else ready. Today Lu woke up at the same time and came to lie in my bed. I told him I was going to take a shower and asked if he wanted to stay in bed or shower too. He answered that he preferred to stay in bed. Two minutes into my shower, he is pounding on the door demanding to get in the bathroom.
• Scenario two: Chi is all excited about a new clown costume. She wanted to try it on for me last night, but couldn’t because it was already bedtime. So I put it on her this morning to take pictures of her with her brother. She was wearing the costume and Lu was in his school uniform at which point he wanted to put on a costume too to wear to school. He wailed and on until I went and got a costume for him. I took more pictures of the two of them at which point Lu wanted the costume off right then before we left for school.
• Scenario three: We’re having breakfast today and I’m eating my bread and the kids have their cereal. Lu wants some of my bread, so I give it to him. He gets down from the table and runs away. I call after him and ask if he wants more. He says no and so I eat the rest. As I am chomping away on my last bite, he comes back and says he wants more. When I tell him he cannot have more because I ate it he goes berserk.

Are you getting the picture here? Our household has to run like a finely-oiled machine in the morning or else the simplest task can be stressful. I have lost count on how many times I repeat the same thing for Chichi every morning:

• Get dressed
• Feed your fish
• Get your snack
• Get your bag ready
• Eat your breakfast
• Brush your hair
• Brush your teeth

Whatever they say about children internalizing information after hearing it 27 times is just plain wrong.